Before You Think Another Thought - The Mechanics of Thought
BRUCE I. DOYLE III
CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
HOW THOUGHTS WORK
THOUGHT
BELIEFS
THOUGHTFORM STRUCTURE
MENTAL ATTENTION
WHAT YOU BELIEVE IS WHAT YOU GET
SELF-RESPONSIBILITY
THE MIRROR
POSITIVE ATTITUDE
EXPERIENCING
WHY YOU’RE NOT GETTING WHAT YOU WANT
GET WHAT YOU WANT
MAINTAIN A POSITIVE ATTITUDE
HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF
INCREASE YOUR SELF-AWARENESS
REMOVE LIMITING THOUGHTFORMS
GO EXPLORING
APPENDICES
It was one of those mornings-
A cloud hid the sun,
Looking up, the bear said,
“oh, this is fun!”
So she started to think
About the fields full of flowers
And bright, shining rainbows
That follow the showers.
Then she smiled a big smile
For she knew suddenly,
A day is as nice
As you think it to be.
INTRODUCTION
Have you ever had the feeling that you were like a small canoe floating in the ocean--solely at the whim of the overpowering waves? And, no matter how hard you paddled, you could make no impact on your course-you felt totally out of control.
With all the books, tapes, workshops, and seminars available on various aspects of personal development-from basic attitude adjustment to spiritual enlightenment-there still seem to be a lot of people on the planet with this out-of-control feeling, trying desperately to gain control over their lives. You may be one of them. Self-esteem for many is at an all-time low. What’s going on? What’s missing?
What’s missing is a clear understanding, by everyone, of the fundamentals of how each of us creates our own life experiences. Yes, I said our own. We are each responsible for our own experiences.
Reading this book will give you some insight into the mechanics of thought (how your thoughts and beliefs operate in the universe) to create what you experience as your life.
Thoughts and beliefs are the basic elements of all creation. They exist as tiny waves of energy called thoughtforms whose sole purpose is to carry out the intent of the thinker.
By understanding how your thoughts and beliefs operate, you will be able to see how some of the limiting beliefs that you hold keep you from achieving your goals. These beliefs can be removed.
Understanding that you have an energetic signature which is derived from your beliefs will help you to understand how you attract certain events, circumstances, and relationships into your life. By changing your beliefs you will attract new more desirable experiences.
When you realize that it’s your thoughts and beliefs that determine what you experience, you’re on your way to having some mastery over your life.
1 HOW THOUGHTS WORK
THOUGHT
Did you ever have thoughts that you didn’t want to share? Thoughts about another person that you knew would upset them if you verbalized them. Maybe about their clothes, manners or something they did that bothered you. You hesitated to share your thoughts because you wanted to maintain peace in the relationship. And, you may have even berated yourself for having such awful thoughts, “How could I think such a thing?”
Most everyone considers thoughts as ideas or notions that reside in their head for their own private use. Thoughts help you to figure out things, evaluate situations, make decisions, generate feelings, and sometimes they seem to drive you crazy (well almost).
Thoughts exist as thought forms.
Thoughts or ideas may seem to reside in your head but, in reality, each thought exists as a minute wave of energy called a thoughtform. A thoughtform is real-it exists. It happens to not be noticed by you because its energy vibration (frequency) is outside the range of human senses. It operates faster than the speed of light and is, therefore, not visible to you.
It might be helpful for you to understand this concept by relating it to something you already know but probably have not given much thought to. If you’re like most of us, you have a favorite radio station. Probably an FM station for listening to “your kind” of music. Let’s say it’s 102.7 on the dial.
What that means is that the frequency of transmission for that station is 102.7 megacycles or the newer designation, megahertz. “Mega” is the metric designation for one million. The energy transmitted by the station vibrates continuously in the space around you. But, unless your radio is tuned to the frequency of 102.7 million cycles per second, you are unaware of it.
My point is this, there is a lot of information vibrating in the space around us that we are not aware of because our senses are limited to a specific range of frequencies. And, some of the information vibration in the space is our thoughts-in the form of tiny, subtle energy waves called thoughtforms.
Our senses are limited to a specific range of frequencies.
The mission of each thoughtform is to fulfill the intent of the thought-to carry out the thinker’s desires of intentions. It does this by attracting to it similar thoughtforms to help it fulfill itself. In effect, you are like a radio station, WYOU, broadcasting your desires, intentions, and ideas out into the universe-completely uncensored. Think of it as a king who sends selected members of his court out into his kingdom to fulfill his desires (even his secret ones).
Have you ever had someone say to you, “Watch what you wish for, you’re liable to get it”? Have you ever had the same thought, at exactly the same time, as someone close to you? Has anyone ever accused you of reading their mind? Are there people in your life that you feel “tuned-in” to? Some individuals are very sensitive to picking up thoughtform vibrations. If you answered yes to any of my questions, you are probably one of them.
BELIEFS
Thoughts that you accept as being true become your beliefs.
Thoughts that you accept as true become your beliefs. The accumulations of all of your individual beliefs make up your belief system.
If I told you that the moon was made of Swiss cheese, I doubt that you would believe me. Based on what you already know, you wouldn’t consider it to be true and it would not become part of your belief system. But, if I said, “The weather patterns around the world are going to continue to change dramatically,” you would probably agree. Some of you have real tangible evidence of this already. You would feel that my statement is true and add it to your already existing beliefs.
The accumulation of all of your individual beliefs make up your individual belief system.
Beliefs are specialized thoughtforms that become part of your individual belief system: and-existing as waves of energy that you radiate out into the universe-they accumulate similar thoughtforms in order to create events, circumstances, and relationships that substantiate your beliefs.
“Wait a minute,” you say, “don’t you have that backwards? I experience something-then. I can believe it. You know the old saying. I’ll believe it when I see it.”
Yes, that is a very old saying but in reality it happens the other way around.
You will only experience something if you believe it. The belief must come first. If you experienced something that you didn’t believe, how could you believe it? Your experience confirms your beliefs-belief precedes experience. This is true, even if you don’t believe it. It’s the way the universe works.
BELIEF PRECEDES EXPERIENCE
If you believe that you’re poor, can you experience being rich? If you believe that you’re fat, can you experience being thin? If you believe that you’re dumb, can you experience being smart? Think about it! What you believe is what you experience. Beliefs are usually described as either conscious beliefs or subconscious beliefs.
Conscious beliefs are beliefs that you are aware of and with some prompting you could write down a few. Conscious beliefs can be empowering-such as “I’m smart” and “life’s exciting”- or limiting- such as “I’m clumsy” and “men hate me.”
Subconscious beliefs are beliefs that you are not aware of. You are unaware that they exist and the experiences they create for you are seen as “That’s the way life is.” You have no sense of responsibility for having accepted them as beliefs. The beliefs are transparent to you.
An example of a limiting subconscious belief might be, “I can never have things my way,” stemming from a childhood decision about authority. This could show up as repeated conflicts with bosses later in life. That person might frequently state, “All bosses are jerks,” not realizing that they are operating out of a transparent belief. As you know, not everyone experiences their boss that way.
An example of an empowering subconscious belief might be something like, “I’m always safe.” The person might not be aware of this belief, but lives their life out of having no fear for their safety. They would simply not attract a potentially harmful situation and would see no threat to themselves even if one arose.
In my simple belief model on the previous page, you can see that there are basically four areas of beliefs that can be considered. At the conscious and the subconscious levels you have both empowering and limiting beliefs. It’s the limiting beliefs that we’ll discuss in more detail. After you eliminate these beliefs, you will be required to spend less energy and attention creating the circumstances that you choose to have in your life.
Every thoughtform has two key parameters.
Every thought and every belief has its corresponding thoughtform which is a dynamic wave of energy that has two key parameters. A “frequency of vibration” corresponding to its intent and a “magnitude” corresponding to the amount of desire associated with it. Each of our belief systems can be represented by an energetic signature (not unlike our personalized signature) that is unique to us and essentially defines us. We are all like energetic magnets drawing our experiences to us.
Have you ever noticed that when you meet someone for the first time, some people you feel comfortable with and some you don’t? You’re sensing their energy field. The ones that you feel comfortable with will most likely have similar beliefs. Trust your feeling.
When you are in a close relationship with someone, you can feel that they are upset before they say a word. You can sense that their energy has shifted-to a lower frequency.
Your basic energy signature is the sum of all your thoughts and beliefs. You define yourself-personality, physical attributes and behavior. You are the only one who can create or change your thoughts and your beliefs. And, your beliefs create what you experience as life.
Have you ever tried to change someone else? Didn’t work did it? No one can change someone else’s thoughts. They must want to change and do so on their own. Consequently, if each of us is responsible for our own thoughts we are likewise responsible for our own feelings. Your feelings are generated by your thoughts. Notice that when you have positive thoughts, you feel good. When you think negative thoughts, how do you feel?
Has anyone ever accused you of hurting their feelings? When you realize that you can’t create their thought, you likewise understand that you can’t create their feelings. How freeing! Now you can let go of the old belief that we all grew up with, “You shouldn’t hurt other people’s feelings.” Naturally, there is appropriateness in all things. But you can’t determine another’s feelings-their feelings are strictly theirs.
Your energetic signature attracts your life’s circumstances.
.
My daughter Megan’s college psychology text has an example of a man on a crowded subway who is severely bumped from behind. His immediate reaction is raw anger--the source of which is illustrated by his visualization of a large robust woman bullying her way through the crowd. As he turns to confront her, he realizes that the person who bumped him is blind. His feelings immediately shift as his mind fills with thoughts of compassion. His thoughts-his feelings.
Do you remember your experience--how you felt--when you used to believe in Santa Clause? Quite exciting, eh? What was your experience when you found out that he really didn’t exist and you changed your belief? Took a lot of fun out of your life, didn’t it? Different belief--different experience!
When more than one person agrees on something, it becomes a shared-belief.
Shared beliefs can extend to many individuals. The various religions operating on the planet are examples of many individuals sharing common beliefs. All the various social, financial, and political structures around the globe are also examples of belief systems. The important thing to remember is that each individual has the right to his or her own experiences and consequently his or her own beliefs.
Everyone has their own truth.
It’s when you try to convince others that your beliefs are the only truth that difficulty arises. You see. Everyone has their own truth. Truth belongs to the believer. There are as many truths as there are believers. Many can share common beliefs, as I mentioned, but essentially each of us creates our own unique perspective of the world based on our beliefs.
In essence then, each of us lives in and is responsible for our own world. Certainly your world is different from mine and likewise that of your neighbors. Did you ever wonder what you appear like to someone else? Did you ever wonder what it was like to walk in someone else’s shoes? We all see life from our own perspective ( based on our beliefs) and for each person it’s different. The only real difference in any of us is what we believe. Sure, many of us look different, but maybe that’s also a belief.
If you find yourself trying to convince someone about something you believe, ask yourself if you really believe it. Needing to convince someone else about your truth would imply that you doubt your own belief. When you really believe something, there is no doubt. Hoping it might be true would allow for doubt. When you have no doubt, you can stand in the face of any challenge unshaken and without emotion--you know it’s the truth.
THOUGHTFORM STRUCTURE
Understanding the structure of thoughtforms will greatly assist you in understanding their impact on belief systems.
My view--and it’s just a simple model--is that thoughtforms tend to cluster and aggregate similar to a clump of grapes. Take a clump of grapes, pull off the grapes, and you have an array of branches going off in all directions. As you go back toward the main branch the branches get thicker and stronger. You end up with the “core” branch.
In my analogy, the core branch would equate to the “root” thoughtform--the initial and deep-rooted thoughtform that is the primary cause of the issue involved. On any new idea, issue, or situation the initial thoughtform that you generate establishes the basic pattern or blueprint of experience. Subsequent thoughts and beliefs relating to that subject will attach themselves to the root thoughtform as branches tin a cluster. To clear out an issue, you have to literally “pull the original thoughtform out by the roots.”
A former colleague of mine, whenever he encounters something new, usually states, “This is going to be hard.” Guess what he experiences? His life is a series of struggles which he must then rise to the occasion to overcome.
The strongest and most influential limiting beliefs that you will have to deal with will probably be about your self-concept (your beliefs about how you see yourself). Your “I am___________” statements. These beliefs usually originate in infancy and/or childhood. They are often referred to as “conditioning” or “programming.”
I will not use either of these terms, to me, they imply that something was done “to you” which tends to generate blame and avoids self-responsibility. No one can accept or choose a belief other than the believer--you.
So, even as an infant you did the choosing. Since the experience probably involved a caretaker or someone in an influential position, you naturally accepted their assessment. What reason did you have to doubt their assessment of you?
But, now, as an adult, you can reevaluate your decision to see if you still wish to hold specific beliefs that are no longer in your best interest. Beliefs are like ideas--good ones you keep, bad ones you discard.
An empowering example
Let’s look at the favorable impact of an empowering belief first to illustrate the point.
Jane, as a small child, had a very positive environment. She was loved by her parents, siblings and friends. She was encouraged to try things, given praise, and supported. She adopted the belief, “I always have everything I need and I am secure.”
That basic belief, in order to fulfill itself, acted to positively influence every major facet of her life. Throughout her life, unless impacted by a conflicting belief, she would experience that belief. As an adult, she’d see its effect in her work--a fulfilling job. Her finances would continually sustain her needs. Her relationships would be satisfying, stable and provide her with the love that she deserved. That strong empowering belief would provide a very supportive “root” for her life’s experience.
A limiting example
On the other hand, Jim, was not quite as fortunate. Jim’s environment stemmed from a marriage that was not planned. His father married his mother because he thought it was his duty; but, on the other hand, was extremely resentful of Jim except to criticize or severely discipline him. Fortunately, Jim’s mother was caring and loved him dearly. But, her affection for him only angered his jealous father.
Out of all this, Jim soon decided (created the belief ) that it was his fault that his parents were unhappy. This translated into, “I’m responsible for other’s unhappiness.” Can you see how that “root” belief would negatively impact every major area of Jim’s life? What a burden to feel responsible for other people’s unhappiness--a life of trying to please others.
How would Jim, as an adult, negotiate a deal or ask for a raise if he thought the other person might get upset? Can you imagine Jim trying to please his mate all of the time? How would it feel to Jim if someone around him wasn’t happy? It would always feel to him like it was his fault. A life for Jim of no emotional freedom for himself--always monitoring his behavior. That’s what a limiting belief does. And to Jim, his behavior felt normal. The limitation was transparent to him.
Again, remember there is no blame for Jim’s father--it was Jim who decided to accept what he believed about himself. And, at the time, it may have made a lot of sense. A very strong limiting factor in the blueprint for determining Jim’s life experience was put in place by what might appear to be just a simple, harmless belief.
Life Incidents
Once a root thoughtform is established, incidents will occur to continue to provide evidence to the believer that the belief is true. Let’s try another example to further illustrate the point.
Sally’s mother had to attend an unexpected business meeting during a time when her regular sitter was not available. After several phone calls, her mother was finally able to reach a neighbor who agreed to look after her. She was a nice lady, but was not used to being around four-year-old children.
Sally sensed her awkwardness. She didn’t feel at all comfortable withe the new sitter and started to cry. The sitter, trying to get her to stop, began a series of make-believe games that involved making strange faces. This just added to Sally’s fear and she cried harder. The sitter, in sheer frustration, picked up Sally, took her into her bedroom and flopped her on the bed. As the sitter slammed the door behind her, she hollered, “You’re the worst kid I’ve ever seen.” Sally, in that moment of vulnerability, decided, “There’s something wrong with me.”
As Sally grew older, incidents occurred and similar thoughtforms were created to fulfill the intent of the core belief, “there’s something wrong with me.” These similar thoughtforms attached to the root thoughtform like the branches of the grapevine cluster previously discussed. All areas of her life became affected by this very basic core belief--which, by the way she was totally unaware of.
The figure above contains some examples of real life situations that could stem from an early belief that “there is something wrong with me.” The related beliefs that I’ve illustrated about poor eyesight at 6 years of age, difficulty with academics in the teen, work issues at age 30 and a relationship issue at age 40 could all develop from the one, simple, limiting belief, “there’s something wrong with me.” Naturally these same situations could be generated from other belief sources. If you relate to one of these conditions, don’t assume it’s the same. Do some exploring, though.
Can you see repeated patterns of experience in the lives of those close to you? What about yourself? Do you keep having a recurring experience? What belief might be behind these situations?
Self-Sabotage
Frequently people experience unexplained behavior that some would describe as “self-sabotage.” It’s like having a little gremlin in your subconscious mind who is very mischievous. Every once in awhile he does something odd--usually at a very inappropriate time--over which you seem to have no control. At least that’s the way it appears. It’s that misplaced comment during an important meeting that just kills the opportunity you were counting on. You walk out of the meeting muttering to yourself, “Why in the world did I say that?”
Maybe that little gremlin doesn’t exist. Consider that a limiting thoughtform exists for which you are totally responsible--just not aware of. What do you think might happen to someone in an interview who believed, “I just don’t do well in interviews”? They would probably say something unintended at the most inappropriate time. It might look like self-sabotage, but more than likely, there is a limiting belief involved.
What I’m talking about seems subtle, but can you see the significant impact that these limiting beliefs have on your life? Here’s a real life example.
About a year ago, I was working with a client--I’ll call him Pete--who was conducting a nationwide job search, we spent many hours together, mostly with me just listening and observing his frustration. Pete was having a difficult time making a decision about what he wanted to do, it seemed that every day he was excited about something new and was off in a different direction.
I had introduced my concepts about belief systems to Pete and he had an intellectual understanding of what I was saying, but no real, major “aha” yet. As Pete and I worked closely together, I began to make notes of the limiting beliefs that I would frequently hear him say. The beliefs that I heard most often were:
“There is a price to pay for everything.”
“It’s not possible to have it all.”
“Nothing is what people perceive it to be.”
Pete and I discussed these frequently expressed beliefs and it was clear that even though he had an intellectual idea of the concept “beliefs determine experience” he hadn’t internalized it yet. He was totally unaware that these beliefs were operating. He was so used to his mode of operation that it had become transparent to him.
Once we discussed these limiting beliefs openly, he was able to get in touch with them. He had grown up with them--they were the same as his father’s.
Can you see how someone operating with these beliefs would have a difficult time making a decision? He was setting himself up. There was only one right decision for him to make, and he had better make the right choice or he would have hell to pay.
A few days after our discussion, Pete came into my office to tell me that he had shared his new insight with his Realtor. He was relating his belief to her that “things aren’t what they seem,” when she replied, “You’re right, all my clients have hidden agendas.” Without hesitation, Pete declared, “And she has been a Realtor for ten years!”
Pete was still looking for evidence to prove that his belief was true--for everyone.
After I pointed out that his friend was merely attracting the clients that would substantiate her belief, he began to see my point. He was now becoming more aware and could begin the process of sorting out those beliefs that were getting in his way.
MENTAL ATTENTION
What you put your attention on strengthens or expands in your life. Scientists are discovering more and more evidence that we, as humans, are not independent observers of a mechanical universe. Our mental attention, backed by the intent of our beliefs, creates what we experience as our life. Scientifically, one might say that focusing your attention on the energy field of consciousness, which contains the waves of all possibilities, creates the particles (events and materializations) that we experience as our reality.
This is a very important concept. Let me repeat it. What you put your attention on strengthens or expands in your life. This one idea alone can make a big difference for you.
To illustrate my point, remember the last time you were considering buying a new car. You had your attention focused on it and what happened. All of the sudden you noticed many different types, models and colors of cars, “FOR SALE” signs in windows, ads in the paper, and people relaying information to you about a friend, who was thinking of selling their car. Your attention brought things into your awareness because of your focus. The moment you purchased your new car, your attention shifted. The same information about cars was available, but it was no longer attracted to your awareness. Your attention was focused elsewhere.
What you focus on expands in your life.
To get a picture of what I’m referring to, imagine a coal miner with a helmet that contains a light to enable him to see directly in front of him. Now, picture yourself with a similar light beaming from your forehead, think of it as your attention beam. How often are you aware of where it’s focused?
It is important to focus your attention effectively. In other words, don’t waste your creative energy. Without deliberate focus, you’re spreading your attention around randomly, achieving no real benefit for yourself. Keep your attention focused on something positive and good things begin to happen.
This is the real reason for goal setting. It’s the mental focus that helps you achieve your goals. Your focus is actually strengthening the thoughtform that you have expressed as your goal. Unfortunately, many of us have been oriented to the pass-fail aspect of goal setting and to avoid failure we don’t set goals. Yes, the concept of pass-fail is a belief--a very strong shared one.
If there is something in your life that you want, keep your attention focused on that goal. If things show up--and they will--that seem to get in the way, don’t focus on them. Handle them, but stay focused on your goal. It’s when you focus on the obstacles that you tend to give up. Think about what we have already discussed. What happens when you focus on the obstacles? Right, your focus just strengthens the thoughtforms related to the obstacle. Stay focused on the goal.
You might have a goal that you believe can only be achieved if you have a certain amount of money. Instead of focusing on the goal, you focus on the fact that you don’t have enough money. What gets strengthened is the thoughtform for not having enough money. Maybe there was a way to achieve the goal without money. By not focusing on the goal, you restrict possibilities that you may not be aware of from occurring.
My wife has a close friend, Victoria, who constantly amazes me with how she obtains what she needs. She is the kind of person that says to herself, “I sure could use another couch,” and within days a friend who is moving out of town will call her to ask if she knows anyone who could use a good couch. If she focused on worrying about the money to buy a couch, she would miss these opportunities. Stay focused on your goal!
Keep focused on your goal.
Remember the story about the little steam engine who knew he could make it up the mountain. He was really focused on his goal. How well do you think he would have done chanting, “I’ll never make it. My joints are sore. I’ll never make it. My joints are tired”?
Knowing where your attention is focused is also important because you physically experience what you focus your attention on. You’re probably focused on limiting or negative thoughts anytime you are experiencing something unpleasant. So, if you want to change how you feel, shift your attention to something else. Anything--a pleasant memory, a different subject or best of all, become an observer of your thoughts and just watch them float by. This can be quite relaxing and is what is referred to as meditating. By monitoring where you are focusing your attention, you will begin to gain insight into why you are experiencing what you are experiencing.
As you read through this book, notice your emotions. If you detect uncomfortable ones, see if you can determine what belief you might hold that is being challenged by what you’re reading at that moment. Fear, worry and doubt are probably the three strongest thoughtforms on the planet. They will rob you of all your desires. If you can get in touch with and remove the limiting beliefs behind these culprits, you’ll be a new person.
2 WHAT YOU BELIEVE IS WHAT YOU GET
SELF-RESPONSIBILITY
The fact that you create all your life experiences is a rude awakening for most people. You may be sitting there right now doubting every word that I’m saying. And that’s OK. All I ask is that you consider what’s being said. Give it some thought. Be open to the possibility that it’s worth exploring.
The good news, however, is that with the recognition (and some forgiveness thrown in ) that you are creating your life, you can start taking charge--as the designer of your life--no longer a victim of life’s random circumstances. You become self-responsible.
Knowing you are responsible for your experiences, and always have been, gives you the opportunity to start creating the experiences you would like to have, rather than experiencing life by default. There is a lot of personal power available to you. Much more than you’ve imagined. By personal power, I’m not talking about the kind of power that you have over others. I’m talking about inner power. The power of self-confidence and self-esteem. When you have that kind of power there is no need or desire to have power over anyone or anything else.
I sometimes reflect on my earlier years as a young manager in the corporate world. A few of our senior executives appeared to me to need power--the power-over-others type. It seemed that they wasted a lot of time and talent (theirs) in business review sessions intimidating our management team. They were good at generating fear and stimulating feelings of inadequacy. It’s a shame some of them didn’t have the personal power to act more like coaches. I’m sure that my peers, myself, and the business would have been better off.
It’s nice to look back and see the situation from a new perspective. It feels good to know that their beliefs created their experiences and my beliefs created mine. It takes away all the blame. What else would some young manager attract to himself who had the subconscious limiting belief, “It’s always my fault” I was constantly putting myself in situations where I had to defend myself, trying to prove that it wasn’t my fault. Not a comfortable position to be in. But, that’s how limiting thoughtforms work. I’m sure glad that one has been handled. As you begin to experience the power of changing your beliefs, your desire to know more and more about it becomes compelling.
THE MIRROR
When we examine the concept that your beliefs determine your experiences a little further, we will see, with a little thought, that your experiences (external events) are driven by your beliefs (internal events). You can then use the outer events to see what you really believe. This is often referred to as mirroring.
The universe mirrors your beliefs.
The universe you experience mirrors your belief system back to you. If you want to change your experiences--you must change your beliefs.
This really is not a new concept. Numerous books are available on the subject of beliefs and mirroring of life experiences. My hope is that by getting you to understand the mechanics of how it works that it might make more sense to you. Your life experiences are great teachers, but if you don’t realize that you’re in class, you can miss the entire course. Sure, it will be offered again, but you know what happens to tuition every year.
As you work your way through the new ideas in this book, it would be helpful if you start making a list of the situations, circumstances or people that give you unpleasant feelings--as they come to mind. This will give you a starting point as you explore later what your mirror has in store for you. Also, consider someone you know very well and jot down what that person might believe to be having the experiences he or she is having. What about you, are there some experiences in your life that you would prefer not to have? What beliefs might you hold that are creating these experiences?
In most cases, the reflections of unpleasantness that are mirrored back to you (your perceptions) have to do with beliefs you hold about yourself. Poor self-esteem is the major cause of an individual’s dissatisfaction with their life. The defined inadequacies and limiting beliefs (many of which are transparent) are experienced by seeing in others what we are not seeing or refuse to accept about ourselves. Next time you feel critical of someone, reflect back and see if you aren’t, in some way, identifying with a trait in yourself that you don’t like or haven’t accepted.
If you issue a judgment--either mentally--about someone else’s behavior and it’s accompanied by emotion, you’re getting “hooked.” This is a great indicator that you have an opportunity for some self-discovery and possible healing on the issue in question. If you observe someone else’s behavior as just “noticing” them without any emotional response you are clear.
Don’t be alarmed if you find yourself issuing judgments. This is something that may take some time to change, should you choose to do so. Everyone of those judgments is tied to a belief. It may take a while to track them all down. Be kind to yourself as you do it. Judging yourself for judging others just compounds the issue.
I can recall, as I was growing up, often hearing my grandfather and my dad speak critically and very judgmental of other people--those who were different from them. Those of another race and people who were poor were deemed “naturally lazy” and those who were “the filthy rich”were “crooks.” I didn’t think that much of it rubbed off. We only had one black person in school and I liked him a lot. He was always in a good mood and usually had us in stitches. Later in life I had other friends who were different than I was.
I never thought I had an issue with race until I fell in love, head over heels, withe the woman of my dreams. Shortly after we began dating, she informed me that her previous relationship had been with a black man. I was petrified. My judgment was put right in my face it wasn’t transparent any longer. I had along list of judgmental beliefs about the kind of white women who would date a black man. I either had to walk away from the relationship to prove that I was right or look at my limiting beliefs. They sure didn’t fit my current beliefs about the woman I was thinking of marrying. The mental conflict was agonizing.
Judgments are tied to beliefs.
Fortunately, she was understanding and I was able to get in touch with my limiting beliefs about the situation and release them. It took several tough months of soul-searching to let go of them--not to mention the male insecurity issues it dug up.
Things always happen for a good reason. Several years later, my youngest daughter introduced us to her new boyfriend during parent’s weekend at college. You guessed it--he was black. I was pleased that it didn’t bother me a bit. He was a nice young man. It felt good to have that issue behind me, too.
Each time you let go of a limiting belief, life gets calmer and calmer. The mental chatter just diminishes. It’s your assessment (perception) of external events that create your experience of them. If you don’t like what you’re experiencing, you can always revisit your assessment of what’s happening.
POSITIVE ATTITUDE
With your new understanding of energetic vibrations, thoughtforms and focus of attention; it should be quite clear to you, now, why so much emphasis is placed on having a positive attitude--positive beliefs. Positive beliefs create positive thoughtforms which attract positive events and circumstances into your life.
I used to think having a positive attitude was something that each of us “should” have to be more acceptable. That may be true, but the real impact of being positive has to do with your state of being--your vibrational state--and what it will attract to you.
A person who is just pretending to have a positive attitude may be more acceptable, but they will still attract according to how they are really vibrating--the energy they are emanating will attract their circumstances. So, the message is clear, with your new insight into the mechanics of thought, you’ll want to start immediately making sure you’re focused on being positive. Adopt the attitude that everything that happens in your life happens for a good reason. This will get you off to a great start.
In 1978 during a business trip to Chicago, I was snowed-in for, three days in O’Hare International Airport. There were several feet of snow on the ground and everything was at a standstill. During the second day, the restaurants began running out of food, stranded mothers were overwhelmed with crying children and people were quite fed-up with the whole situation. Mostly, not knowing when it would end.
The range of attitudes that the situation evoked in people was amazing. I saw the worst and I saw the best. Some travelers were down right nasty, greedy and could think of nothing but themselves. I wondered what they must have been believing about their personal situation to be having such a dreadful experience. On the other hand, most of the people went out of their way to help others. Especially those who had the small children.
Everyone’s experience of that situation was directly related to what they believed was happening. Next time you’re involved in a trying situation, look around and see if you can think of what someone might be believing to be having the experience they are having. It’s also revealing to include your own experience. What beliefs might be creating your experience?
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR THE BEST.
I’ve learned a lot from my wife, Maureen, about positive attitude. She is the one who is primarily responsible for my starting to believe that “Everything happens for the best.” I initially began adopting the attitude of faith; but , as I learned more about thoughtforms and energetic attraction, I could see it’s validity. It keeps you in a positive frame of mind, no matter what happens, so you can continue to emit positive energy and attract positive circumstances. Here’s another true story.
I have always been fortunate never to have had a flat tire or a breakdown out on the highway. It always occurred where it could be easily handled. Well, that changed about six months ago. I was on my way home form the office when the clutch in my sports car failed as I was pulling away from a stoplight. Luckily, no one was immediately behind me. My first thought was, “Well, I wonder what the benefit of this is going to be.”
After pushing the car to the side of the road, I walked across the street and called my auto club emergency number. Within 30 minutes the car was loaded on a flatbed truck and we were on our way. The driver dropped me off at my house and delivered the car to the Porsche garage, Team Stuttgart. I was amazed at how smooth everything went.
The next day Dusty, my mechanic, called to tell me that a clip had come loose on the clutch cable--a very minor problem. He asked if I was still interested in selling the car. I said that I was. He then informed me that while my car was in the shop, a gentleman came in looking for advice on where to buy a good used Porsche. He further mentioned that the gentleman liked my 912E and he hoped that it was OK to have given him my phone number. I sold the car to that same gentleman a week later. Did my clutch cable break for a good reason? I guess it depends on what you believe.
Speaking of attitude, how would you describe your attitude about yourself? Is it positive? Yeah, I know, you can give me a long list of all the things you believe are wrong with you--your body’s not perfect (according to whose standards?),you’ve done some terrible things (says who?), you’re this, you’re that. Fine, go ahead and make the list and then, without judgment, just lovingly accept yourself. “Accept” doesn’t mean anything but that, accept--no judgments. “This is how I see me. I accept myself. It’s OK to be me.” Say it, “It’s OK to be me.” Great, again. “It’s OK to be me.”
Please note that your list of judgments about yourself (either written or mental) is a list of beliefs. Nothing more--nothing less. They can be changed. Remember--beliefs determine experience. You experience “you” as you have define yourself. What you believe about yourself must be what you experience, otherwise you wouldn’t believe it. Yes, just like circumstances and events, your self-concept is yours--your own beliefs about yourself.
In 1981, I had what many longed for--a good job, a big house, and attractive wife and three young daughters that I adored. But at a very deep level, a part of me needed to be free and I left a 17 year marriage. The guilt over destroying the lives of four people that I cared for deeply trashed my self-esteem.
During the next six years, the universe reflected back to me my deeply held (transparent) belief that I had done something very bad for which I deserved to be punished. My second marriage and three executive level jobs ended in failure. Naturally, at the time, I had no idea that my beliefs were creating my experiences.
It was excerpts from an essay that my daughter, Ellen, wrote for application to college that finally gave me a new perspective on the situation.
“My parents divorced the year I turned 13. At the time, it thought it was the greatest tragedy that could ever happen. But four years later, despite the sadness and confusion, it has provided me with some wonderful opportunities and experiences.
“Traveling to visit my father in various locations, I have also had to be responsible for my younger sister. Our relationship has become very close because we have to depend on each other.
“Because of my parent’s divorce, I have had to become more independent at an earlier age than I might have otherwise had to do. I think learning to do lots of things myself rather that rely on others has helped me in my personal life and schoolwork.”
Ellen Doyle
March 1987
This positive point of view allowed me to start examining my own belief that I had damaged my daughters. I realized that my guilt was my own doing. I needed to see the situation in a new light. Now, thirteen years later, all three girls have finished college and are creating successful lives for themselves.
Your acceptance of yourself, just as you are, is the first step in allowing you to explore the limiting beliefs you have about yourself. Acceptance drops away the resistance to experiencing yourself as you are and helps keep your energy positive. It also frees up wasted energy so it can be used in accessing and changing those beliefs that you would like to change. Notice I said “the ones you would like to change.” You are free to believe what you wish. Change only what you wish to change. After all, it’s your experience.
EXPERIENCING
I’ve used the word “experiencing” a lot. What does experiencing really mean? The experiencing that I am referring to is simply being in touch with what you are feeling. That’s the only way you can truly experience anything--you must feel it! It sounds simple enough, but the fact is that many of us don’t allow ourselves to feel--consequently we don’t fully experience life.
Have you ever driven down the highway and suddenly realized that the past twenty miles went by and you missed it. Why? Because you had your attention somewhere else. You missed experiencing (the feelings associated with) the beautiful countryside, the sunshine radiating off of the autumn leaves and the two deer grazing just behind the white picket fence.
There is a difference between having the experience of a thirty minute commute and fully experiencing the ride home from the office.
It was during a Hakomi Therapy training session a few years ago that I finally realized the difference. In Hakomi Therapy, the focus is on getting your client in touch with what they are physically experiencing (feeling), in the present moment, about a previous situation rather than mentalizing (talking about) it. The term “being mindful” is used to describe the concept.
So, to really experience anything fully, you must be mindful--you must place your attention on how you are feeling. Next time you’re riding in the car see if you can experience the trip a little differently.
Have you ever “tuned someone out” because you didn’t want the experience (feeling) of being with or listening to them. Make sure you are not “tuning yourself out”--of much of your life.
From time to time, we all try to communicate to others how we feel. Words such as “love,” “happy,” “joyful,” and “excited” are just verbal symbols for expressing varying degrees of feeling good. “Bored,” “hate,” “sorrow,” and “mad” are symbols for feeling bad. And, what you experience either feels good or it doesn’t. No matter how one arrives at it, success for all of us is finding out what makes us feel good. And, the only time to feel anything (experience it) is in the moment--right “now.” Whoops--that “now” is already gone--gone forever.
This “now”
...........................
Past Future
The time line for Life is really an infinite line of very short periods of “now”--the present moment. Periods of “now” that have already occurred, we call history or the past. We can no longer experience them. That’s right! We can no longer experience them.
“But”, you say, “I experience a lot of pain about things that happened in the past.” That maybe true, but you are not experiencing the past, you are experiencing your beliefs about the past. This is another one of those subtle distinctions that is quite profound. The same goes for the future. It’s your story or beliefs--usually in the form of worry--that unpleasant “nows” will occur. Isn’t it amazing how easy it is to keep yourself from enjoying each successive “now”--LIFE.
The importance of being consciously aware of your state during the present “now” has a lot to do with establishing your experience in future “nows.” If you are positive in this “now” and are deliberately focused on your desires for the future and you have no limiting beliefs about your ability to create your desires, you can count on your desires manifesting for you. Unfortunately, many of us, have doubts about our abilities--just beliefs, but they have a canceling effect on our ability to create. As I mentioned earlier, fear, worry and doubt are the strongest limiting conditions for most of us.
Mary Burmeister, the Founder of Jin Shin Jyutsu Inc., says, “Worry is prayer for what you do not want;” and, “Fear is false evidence appearing real.” Also, I heard somewhere that worry is like a rocking chair--it gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere. When you can remove the limiting beliefs
behind fear, worry, and doubt, your life will begin to flow more smoothly.
WHY YOU’RE NOT GETTING WHAT YOU WANT
By now it should be quite clear that the thing that keeps your from realizing your full potential or your dreams are the strong limiting beliefs that you hold. And, as mentioned earlier, the most critical of all your beliefs will have to do with the limiting beliefs you have about yourself.
No one can ever go beyond the self-image of self-concept they hold of themselves. It’s impossible-beliefs determine your experience. If you can’t see yourself doing it or being it, forget it. It won’t happen. On the other hand, if you can hold on to the dream and clear out all the limiting beliefs that say you can’t. It’s yours!
With all the self-help information available today, why isn’t everyone happy and why doesn’t everyone always get what they want? Why are so many people struggling to achieve something only to give up in frustration?
How many self-help or motivational workshops have you attended only to have the excitement wear off after a short period of time? What do you think and individual really believes who affirms 50 times a day, “I’m rich. I’m rich. I’m rich.” You guessed it, he really believes that he is not rich.
He is also strengthening the thoughtform that is already keeping him from being rich. He’ll soon see no results for his efforts and give up in frustration. His limiting belief could have to do with money but my guess is that it has to do with a personal belief, such as not deserving it or something related to that.
One of the lessons I had to learn the hard way when I began exploring belief systems back in 1988, was that experiences are determined by the sum total of your beliefs and your point of mental focus, your attention--not just the experience you selectively choose to create.
I decided that since I had all this profound knowledge of how the universe works that I would get up the next morning and simply create what I wanted. Well, it didn’t work and as you might guess, I generated a lot of frustration and anger for myself. I guess I had a transparent belief about how I learn things--the hard way.
As you’ve already seen, beliefs can be empowering or limiting. Limiting beliefs negate or subtract from empowering beliefs and desires. What do you get when you add +2 and-2? You’re right--zero! This is the part that didn’t sink in for me. I was still trapped into believing that if I tried hard enough to believe in what I wanted, I didn’t have to pay attention to my limitations. I didn’t think that I had many anyway. Just ask me.
But, there I was using my old belief, “If I would just try harder, I could succeed.” I soon learned that old beliefs continue to gain strength and become dominating. After I realized what was happening, I refocused my efforts to working on my liabilities--my limiting beliefs. Yes, I did find some--many. After awhile it became a treat to find them. It meant that I was one step closer to being clear.
To use an analogy, refer to the illustration of the balance sheet. Here, as in traditional accounting, are two columns. The assets (empowering beliefs) on the left and the liabilities (limiting beliefs) on the right. Each side is summed to obtain the “total assets” on the left and the “total liabilities” on the right.
At first glance we can see that the old limiting belief, “I NEVER GET WHAT I WANT,” is very strong and powerful from years of having energy added to it . It will take forever to add enough “I am rich” beliefs to the left side of the balance sheet to try and overcome the strong limiting belief. First of all, the “I am rich,” in this case, is not really a belief--it’s only a statement. It’s a wish or, at best, a hope. If it were a belief, it wouldn’t have to be continually repeated. And, every time it is repeated, the real belief, “I NEVER GET WHAT I WANT,” increases in strength to fulfill it’s original intent--to make sure that you don’t.
There are basically two limiting beliefs in action here:
1. “ I never get what I want.”
2. “I am not rich.” (Implied)
For any real improvement in this situation the belief, “I NEVER GET WHAT I WANT” must be eliminated.
There are numerous self-development books, tapes, and workshops available--all with good intent, and of useful benefit. In many cases though, the benefit is temporary. There is a good reason for this. Many techniques don’t address the cause of your experiences. They try to implement new techniques that focus on overpowering or going around the old situation to create a new desired state. This requires on-going diligence and constant effort which soon gets tiresome and boring--the student usually gives up in frustration.
The main reason for limited success gets back to what we have been discussing-- the cause-- limiting beliefs. Old limiting beliefs must be removed. Trying to “overpower” them is not the best use of time and energy. What’s required for permanent change in your experience is a shift in focus from trying to overpower old beliefs with new ones, to a focus on identifying and simply dissolving the old beliefs that no longer serve you. These limiting beliefs may have been appropriate when you were a child, but as an adult, they hinder you.
It’s like planting a flower garden. If you don’t till the soil and pull out all the weeds before you plant, you’ll end up with a field of weeds that has some flowers in it. An improvement, but not the desired result. Till the soil, remove the weeds and now plant your seeds-- in no time at all, you’ll have a marvelous garden of your favorite flowers.
Another way to look at the same concept would be like trying to hit the bulls eye on a target on the other side of a corn field. The corn stalks (limiting beliefs) resist and deflect the path of the arrow. Rather than try and brute force the arrow through the corn by pulling harder on the string, simply remove the corn stalks between you and the target. Now, with an accurate aim and normal pull, a bulls eye is assured.
Dissolve old limiting beliefs.
People spend significant effort and money looking for ways to get what they want--happiness, money, love, jobs only to give up in frustration. The secret is to focus on dissolving barriers--those barriers are the limiting beliefs that are generating your life’s frustrations and fears.
3 GET WHAT YOU WANT
MAINTAIN A POSITIVE ENVIRONMENT
Let’s take the knowledge that you have gained and make it work for you. The first thing to remember is that you will experience, for some period of time, the results of the thoughtforms that you put into motion in the past. Recognize that this will occur and begin to work from this moment forth to deliberately design the experiences you wish to have in the future.
Everything happens for the best.
What you need to do is create a positive environment for yourself while you explore those things that will continue to impact you from prior choices. Begin by creating a positive attitude about life by establishing your own version of “Everything happens for the best.” I say your version because that’s what’s important. It’s your beliefs that count--not mine.
Develop your version and strengthen the thoughtform when something occurs for you that might not initially seem favorable by reminding yourself that “Everything happens for the best.” It will take a little practice, but as you strengthen the thoughtform, you’ll notice a difference in your emotional response. Adopt the philosophy that you can learn something from every experience.
To further enhance your environment, focus on the positive things around you. See the glass as half-full rather than half-empty. Also, be sure to focus your attention on what you want, not on what you don’t want. If you desire more money, focus on how to obtain more--not on the fact that you don’t have enough. Constantly keep in mind what you’ve learned about thoughtforms--you don’t want to use your energy to strengthen limiting ones. Keep your attention focused on your desires and goals--strengthen those thoughtforms. And, you know what that means--the more you stay positive the more you will attract positive experiences.
There are times, however, when you won’t feel positive--that’s only being human. I’m not encouraging you to deny or avoid unpleasant feelings or situations. Experiencing them is an important part of your growth process. What I am saying is--experience them--but move on as quickly as possible. Develop your ability to emotionally rebound. As you remove limiting beliefs, this will become easier and easier.
I have a friend who was told by a counselor that to release his fears he needed to experience them. That may be true, but the experience need not last for years--experience and release can be done in a matter of minutes.
I used to have fun with my management team when something went wrong and we all felt discouraged. I’d say, “OK, we are going to sit here for five minutes and suck our thumbs and then forget it.” We did and it worked. How long can you feel depressed looking at five other grown men sucking their thumbs!
HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF
It’s important also that you have the faith (belief) that you can make the changes in your life that you choose to make. If you have the belief that you can’t help yourself change, stop right where you are because your disbelief will negate anything that you attempt to do. Remember, you can only change what you are willing to accept responsibility for. So, create your version of “I’m responsible for my own experiences and I can change my life for the better.” You can do it. Believe in yourself.
I would encourage you not to establish expectations that everything in your life will miraculously change overnight. If it does, that’s wonderful. Based on my experience, it will take some patience on your part. That may sound like a limiting statement but I’d rather see you making incremental progress and stick with it than go for the moon and quit in frustration. Your library of beliefs was built up over a number of years, it will take some research to access the inventory. The time to start the process of change, however , is right now.
“Process” is an important word. A process is something that happens over time. Change is a “process.” Unfortunately, most of us want change to be an event--instantaneous results. Life itself is a process--ever-changing, ever-unfolding. You’re probably wondering how long your process of change will take. Realistically? Forever! Don’t panic--you’ll want to continue your own process of growth and change to expand and deepen your experiences--indefinitely. It becomes compelling. Personal growth is a life-long process. So, change what you want to change--at your own pace. You are experiencing your world. You call the shots.
INCREASE YOUR SELF-AWARENESS
With the appropriate emotional environment established and the confidence that you can succeed, now you need to expand your awareness of yourself so you can begin to recognize your limiting beliefs.
Phrase Completion
One of the easiest ways of surfacing your beliefs is to do simple phrase completion exercises. The concept involves spontaneously completing the endings to certain phrases to allow the subconscious mind to bring forth uncensored information. When you get your logical, rational thought processes involved you begin judging the information and the free-flow ceases. Appendix A contains exercises to help you surface some of your beliefs. To get a better feel for the concept, take a look at a few examples in the illustration:
I am married.
I am too tall.
I am fat.
I am worried. ( a worrier)
I am old.
I am always late.
I am always late.
I am kind.
I am poor.
I am never satisfied.
I am ...
Notice the number of limiting beliefs that surfaced. Do any of them look familiar?
Monitor Your Self -Talk
monitoring your self-talk is an excellent way to start collecting data on what beliefs you hold. Self-talk is the constant mental and/or verbal conversation that goes on as you are going about your day. It’s when you are talking to yourself. For me it’s usually mental. Although I must admit, since I started removing limiting thoughtforms six years ago, the majority of my critical self talk has vanished. I can now find time to just experience the moment. You can do the same.
What happens when you’re involved in self-talk is that you are not present mentally to experience the “now” that we discussed earlier. Self-talk either has you chewing over something that has already happened or agonizing over something that you’re afraid will happen. Most of this self-talk is very limiting. It’s usually about something you did or didn’t do or about what someone else did or didn’t do. Normally, very non-productive and judgmental. Now, on the other hand, if you spend your day telling yourself how wonderful you are then that’s great.
My point is, you can learn a lot about your limiting beliefs by being an observer of your self-talk. Make believe you are a miniature private investigator and sit on your shoulder and take notes. What’s this person focused on? Listen to your own beliefs. Write them down. How many of them are self-critical? Self criticism is very limiting. Learn to enjoy catching yourself in the act. “Aha, got ya again.”
Another aspect of self-talk would be to ask a committed listener such as your spouse, a significant other, or a trusted friend to assist you by writing down what they hear you say, especially when you are upset. Just be sure you are ready for it--no denial--no being defensive and please don’t shoot the messenger. Just note the beliefs that they recorded and decide what you want to do with them. Are some of them limiting you?
Notice Your Reflections
Another technique to increase your awareness is to monitor your reflections in the universal mirror. Recall from the discussion on mirroring that the events, circumstances and people that show up in your life are there to mirror back to you what you’re projecting into the universe. To illustrate what I mean by events reflecting back to you, I’ll share a personal experience with you.
One of my idiosyncrasies is orderliness. Everything must be in its place and things must be kept clean and tidy at all times. Normally this trait is an asset but taken to extreme, it becomes a liability. So, naturally, one of the things that irritates me is loose hair--cat hair, dog hair, human hair--it doesn’t matter. These days, I have very little but, fortunately, Maureen likes bald heads. Her hair is beautiful--chestnut brown and very long.
About six months ago, I was sitting in the bathroom getting very irritated about the long brown hair that I noticed littering the floor. My mental conversation was very judgmental about her not cleaning up after herself. As I sat there getting more irritated, I had a jolting thought. “Oh, my God, what if there was no hair at all.”
In that moment, something shifted and the hair on the floor became a reminder to me of how lucky I was that she was in my life. It brought tears of joy to my eyes. Does your spouse leave the top off of the tooth paste or put the toilet paper on the roll backwards? Great, now you have a reminder, too, of how lucky you are.
If you have not already started a list of reflections that bother you, please start one and continue to update it as situations arise. As you encounter situations that “hook” you, ask yourself, “What do I believe is happening here?” Make a note of your answer. In Appendix B I’ll give you some hints on how to process this information.
Keep in mind, also, what I said about reflections from other people. A judgment that you assign to someone else is a judgment that you are projecting. You are essentially assigning the judgment to yourself. For example, if someone notices someone else’s behavior and labels that person “a know it all” what does that say about the person doing the judging? My guess is, that it reflects an insecurity about “not knowing it all.”
There is an aspect of the judger’s personality that he or she hasn’t accepted. It’s probably related to not feeling smart enough or maybe feeling inadequate about not having a degree or some acceptable (to them) level of credentials or training. If the judger felt good about himself or herself, the other person’s behavior wouldn’t “hook” him or her.
That’s the mirror--it reflects back to you information for you to learn more about yourself. When you notice that you are judging someone, ask yourself, “If this is what I believe about them, what does that say about me?” Remember what I said earlier about not judging yourself for judging others. It will take some time to shift your judgments--if you choose to do so. So, in the mean time, acknowledge yourself for having the guts to work on it.
REMOVE THE LIMITING THOUGHTFORMS
To remove limiting thoughtforms, you utilize the same method that you used when you acquired them. You used “choice.” So, to remove them, you also use choice. You just “choose” to do so. This may sound too simple, but that’s how it works. There are several copyrighted techniques that have a detailed process for removing unwanted thoughtforms, but the basic element of removal is the aspect of “choice.”
The actual removal step is simple, but the challenge for most people is getting to that point--mentally. Can you imagine “fire-walking” by yourself if you read in a book that all you had to do was concentrate on the belief that you are walking on wet, moist, velvety grass. I don’t think you would take off your shoes until you had some coaching. The techniques for removing thoughtforms are of the same nature. Confidence must be built with smaller experiences of success before most people will believe that they can do it. We all have existing beliefs about what can and cannot be done. They must be dealt with first. Also, when you remove a limiting thoughtform it’s a good idea to replace it with an empowering one. Here’s a simple example.
Let’s say that you uncovered the limiting belief, “Nothing ever works for me.” First put your full concentration on that belief and then say to yourself slowly and deliberately, either mentally of verbally, “I have the belief, ‘Nothing works for me,’ and I choose to remove it from my belief system because it limits me.” That’s all it takes. To replace it, just choose a new one. “I choose to replace it with, ‘Everything that I do works out for my best interest.”’
If you will recall the grapevine structure of thoughtforms, you will notice that at each time you remove a thoughtform you’re working your way down the vine until you come to the root cause thoughtform.
Another way to look at it would be to convert the branches of each stem into a list with the “root” thoughtform at the bottom of the list. The similar thoughtforms generated subsequently get layered on top of the previously created one. The most recently generated one would therefore be at the top of the list (the tip of the branch).
For those with the confidence to forge ahead at removing limiting thoughtforms here is the secret that I finally learned, use the removing-limiting-thoughtforms technique on your doubts as well. Doubt is what used to stop me. “Did it work? Am I doing it right? It doesn’t seem to be working today. Something’s wrong. I need more experience. I need help.” Every thought of this nature will hinder your progress because, as you’ve learned, thoughtforms will act to fulfill themselves. When you think, “Something’s wrong,” guess what you’ve just created. So, when a doubt shows up, just use the technique to get rid of it and keep going.
Here’s another example.
Let’s say you want to remove the limiting belief “Nobody cares about what I have to say.” As you begin, you have the thought, “I’m not sure I know how to do this right.” That now becomes the limiting belief that you work on. So, start with “I have the belief ‘I am not sure I know how to do this right’ and I choose to remove it form my belief system because it limits me.”
Then you have the thought, “I’m not sure that worked.” Do the same thing. “I have the belief, ‘I’m not sure that worked’ and I choose to remove it from my belief system because it limits me.”
Then go to the original limiting belief, “Nobody cares about what I have to say.” If another doubt shows up before you removed the original limiting belief, treat it the same way--remove it. Initially, don’t be surprised, if a lot of these pesky doubts show up. Just cheer for yourself that you found another one and remove it. Keep going--it will get easier and easier.
GO EXPLORING
It is my hope that the information that you have just read will entice you into further exploration of how your beliefs impact your life’s experience. The appendices contain some simple exercises to help you increase your awareness.
My wish is for every person on the planet to have some insight into the mechanics of thought and the power that we all have at our disposal to design our lives deliberately--especially our youth. We all have the innate ability to create anything that we can imagine the holographic universe is energetically structured to turn every desire into reality if that desire is not impaired by a previously created conflicting belief. The only thing that holds you back are your own beliefs.
I’d like to leave you with one more insight--the thoughtform that will attract the most positive circumstances into your life is “I love myself.”
Appendix A
Phrase Completion
On another sheet of paper, write as many endings as you can, as quickly as you can, for the “I am_____________” stubs in each category. Let your mind free-flow. Your answers don’t have to be logical or make sense.
I am_________________________________________________________
(Physical characteristics)
I am_________________________________________________________
(Emotional)
I am_________________________________________________________
(Mental)
I am_________________________________________________________
(Social)
I am_________________________________________________________
(Career)
I am_________________________________________________________
(Relationships)
I am_________________________________________________________
(Love)
I am_________________________________________________________
(Family)
Similarly, complete as many phrases as you can for the following stubs:
_____________________________________makes me happy.
_____________________________________makes me feel sad.
_____________________________________makes me feel angry.
_____________________________________makes me feel guilty.
Men are________________________________________________
Women are_____________________________________________
Babies are______________________________________________
Puppies are_____________________________________________
Money is_______________________________________________
People are______________________________________________
Sex is__________________________________________________
Life is__________________________________________________
Love is_________________________________________________
I am a ____________________________________________person.
I can___________________________________________________
I can’t___________________________________________________
I should_________________________________________________
I shouldn’t_______________________________________________
It’s wrong to______________________________________________
I am too_________________________________________________
I _________________________________________________myself.
After you have completed the exercise, make a note beside each of your responses for empowering beliefs (E) and for limiting beliefs (L). Quite revealing isn’t it. How many of these limiting beliefs would you like to eliminate?
Appendix B
Reflections
To begin the process, select an item from your list of things that bother you--one that has a great deal of emotional charge related to it. Something that really disturbs you. Write on another sheet your answers to the following questions for the item you selected.
1.When you noticed unpleasant feelings, what did you believe was happening?
2.Identify another belief that may also be valid in this situation.
3.How many other beliefs can you think of?
4.Seeing that there are other belief (perspectives), can you now let go of the original belief that you had knowing that it’s only one perspective of many?
Example
Here’s an illustration. Situation: “Every time someone goes into bosses office and closes the door, I feel uneasy.”
1.When you noticed the unpleasant feelings, what did you believe was happening?
“I felt like they were talking about me.”
2.Identify another belief that may also be valid in this situation.
“They may have been talking about someone else.”
3. How many other beliefs can you think of?
“They may not have been talking about anyone else. They may have been discussing his or her performance. They may have been working out a schedule. He or she may have just had a question about their work assignment.”
4.Seeing that there are other beliefs (perspectives), can you now let go of the original belief that you had knowing that it’s only one perspective of many?
“Gosh, how silly of me to assume that just because the door is closed that they are talking about me. There are many things that they could have been discussing. You know, it reminds me of when I was young. When my dad would come home from work he and my mother would talk in their bedroom behind closed doors while he was changing his clothes. If she reported that I had misbehaved during the day, he would whip me. I guess when people are talking behind closed doors at the office, it seems the same. From now on, I sure won’t assume that people are talking about me when their door is closed--that’s ridiculous.”
Bringing the situation to this new level of awareness will often resolve the issue.
Appendix C
Summary Points for Reflection
* Thoughts exist as thought forms.
* Thoughts generate feelings.
* Thoughtforms exist to fulfill their intent.
* Thoughtforms attract similar thoughtforms.
* Thoughts that I accept as true become my beliefs.
* Beliefs are specialized thoughtforms.
* Beliefs determine my experiences.
* The sum of my beliefs makes up my individual belief system.
* My individual belief system generates my energetic signature.
* My energetic signature attracts my life’s circumstances.
* Beliefs are empowering or limiting.
* Limiting beliefs inhibit the expression of my true self.
* hat I focus my attention on expands in my life.
* Attention strengthens thoughtforms.
* Keep my attention focused on my goals.
* Self-responsibility creates inner power.
* My external events (experiences) are determined by my internal events (beliefs).
* The universe mirrors my beliefs back to me.
* Judgments, fear, worry and doubt are all tied to limiting beliefs.
* It’s important to stay positive to attract positive circumstances.
* Everything happens for the best.
* Experience is feeling.
* I can only experience in the present moment---now.
* I experience my beliefs about the past---not the past itself.
* Limiting beliefs negate my desires.
* Old limiting beliefs become stronger when challenged.
* Beliefs are added and removed by choice.
* Stay positive.
* Believe in myself.
* Increase my self-awareness.
* Remove the limiting thoughtforms that I choose to remove.
* Create what I want.
* Love myself.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Bruce has over 25 years of experience as a corporate executive and business consultant focused on organizational and individual transformation. He is recognized as an inspirational leader who creates transformation based on his philosophy, “Lead the People--Manage the Business!” This philosophy embraces the value of leading from the heart to create an environment that fosters integrity and open, honest relationships to facilitate the mutual achievement of both individual and corporate goals.
He holds BS and MS degrees in Electrical Engineering from Penn State University and Virginia Polytechnic Institute. He enjoys flying and is an instrument-rated private pilot. He is dedicated to helping individuals achieve their full potential through the realization that their beliefs create their life experiences. Bruce and his wife, Maureen, reside in Winter Park, Florida.